If i come over, it means nothing
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
