you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
