Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
