hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize