and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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