Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Randomize
