he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
smell my finger.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
