He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize