Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
