The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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