Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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