Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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