Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize