dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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