I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
