I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
