hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
