He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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