i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
