We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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