so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
