I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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