Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
