she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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