Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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