come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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