Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
This is the high leading the old right now
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
