I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
