Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
