I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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