At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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