never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
