I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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