the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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