Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We have so much sex to catch up on
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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