Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he was CRYING into my vagina
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
