4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
