She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
