ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We had sex on a dog bed..
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
