I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
