Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
