for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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