The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize