So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
