I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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