I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
too bad you live with your parents still
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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