One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize