Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
