With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
