You really coming over, don't trick.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
