Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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