Your tits are I can't wait for
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
