i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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