I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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