it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
