East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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