I want to make a zoo with you.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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