I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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