Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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