Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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