I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
