meet me or not, i'm out of control
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The adults are the big ones right?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
