I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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