she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Someone came in the potted fern
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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