glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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