I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
