I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
