well you can't waste a boner
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize