pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
