this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
