is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
