I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
