doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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