Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she peed on how many people?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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