Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize