What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
