so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
